My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
