yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize