If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Pants are for mortals
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
