I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize