weddingsv make me drug and hornr
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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