The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
