And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
