I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Michael Bay diarrhea
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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