I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i came on her dog
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
