Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
