the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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