A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize