All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
