areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
