I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
