I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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