I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Dick very happy bro
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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