i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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