I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
there is puke in my bra ... again
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
