'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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