I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
