Pappa wants mamma naked
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
3pm strippers are depressing
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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