so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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