Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
No subtext here. People are naked.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
