he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
