I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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