it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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