I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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