Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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