We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
