I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
