I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
