And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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