ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
