Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
