I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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