I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
