did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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