It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
