So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
