dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
