I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
