We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
