so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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