he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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