Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
