vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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