yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
