To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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