I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize