So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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