Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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