she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
