Someone shit on the floor
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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