so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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