Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
