When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Sacagawea was the original milf.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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