remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
