The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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