check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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