i just had sex bonerless
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
