Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
