i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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