but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize