You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
