I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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