I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
