need another drink. this is the easiest way
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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